Recognising Suicide Signs: 5 important signs that will help you save a life

Have you ever wondered if any of the people you know might have suicidal thoughts or intentions? Would you recognise them if they had? Every person’s experience is different, some talk about it, and most of the people don’t. Often suicidal people would test the air before speaking up. If no one hears them, they will continue faking the ‘normal’.

Fake it until you make it, they say, but what if you don’t make it? What if, instead, we learn how to hear the screams behind the words?

Here are some of the obvious signs that indicate suicide

Social withdrawal and isolation

Pretty often suicidal people start spending more time alone and stop doing normal activities. They make plans and then cancel at the last minute. They are very excited about going out in the moment, but change their mind a few hours/days later. It is important to mention that you should not always assume that, if your someone wants to spend time alone they are suicidal. Isolation is different from wanting some private time to reconnect, or simply being an introvert. It usually comes along with more signs such as sadness, bad moods, negativity, lack of communication, and so on. If you notice these changes in someone, don’t try to force them to go out with you, but rather join them and try to understand their experience. Show your interest by saying: Is there a particular reason why you don’t want to go out? Do you want to talk about why you prefer spending more time alone? The reason behind is usually that they feel like a burden if they talk about how sad they feel.

Sudden behavioural changes

Most often suicidal people try to hide their emotions and feelings, because they feel ashamed and scared of what others would think. Some play it cool, but sometimes their behaviour and mood will change for no apparent reason. They can get triggered by something they hear, see or remember. Be aware of this and never be afraid to share your concern about their mood swings. Most of the time they hope someone will notice this. Also, if you decide to talk about it, do it in private, don’t call it out in front of many people. You could say something simple and straightforward like: I noticed that your mood has changed and I can see that you are sad, do you want to talk about this? Did anything happen?

Highly sensitive

Imagine being so empty that you feel the only thing keeping you alive is your biological ability to breathe. People having suicidal thoughts are touched by every bad word they hear, and unconsciously look for any reason confirming that they are not cared for. If a person seems to behave like they are made of glass, and every word you say is a risk of breaking them down, stay aware. Every word you say does break them down emotionally, to the point of feeling physical pain. It is not something that they can control, so calling them ‘’too sensitive’’ does not help. If you notice that someone is highly sensitive to anything they hear, or suddenly starts crying, simply be there for them. A good thing to say is: It is okay to be touched by this, what is it that you feel/need right now? What is on your mind? Trust me, they want someone to be curious about their feelings.

Words

Be aware of their vocabulary! They will always try to say something about how they feel, hoping that someone will truly hear them. Often in conversations they might say ‘’I just don’t have energy to do anything’’ ‘’I don’t sleep most nights’’ ‘’I eat really chaotically’’ ‘’I feel empty/hopeless’’, and the examples could go on. What I am trying to say is that naming it, and saying ‘’I feel suicidal’’ happens pretty rare. Suicidal people will often say something regarding the subject to see if you pick it up, testing your interest in them. They already feel like a burden, so they don’t want to put pressure on anybody else. They look for people who care and love them, making sure that they will be understood if they break out the silence. Of course, this is not about suicide all the time, but try to take these affirmations seriously. Just be curious and ask: What has made you feel like this? Why don’t you eat/sleep/have energy? Is there more than that? Do you want to talk about it? Just be curious. Words don’t always reflect what’s inside of us.

— Curiosity can be the most special gift you can offer to someone —

Remember that sometimes being sensitive, affected easily by words or wanting to spend time alone is just the way people are, but it is never a waste of time to check how and why they feel the way they do. Usually more than one sign will be there, it only takes a person who’s willing to hear what’s not said and see what’s not shown. You can save a life.

If you wanna talk about it, I am here. Drop me an email: chasingpurpose.ah@gmail.com

If you want to talk with someone else, there are some support services that can help you:

Transformational life coach: marc@findingforwardllc.com, @findingforward

Samaritans- anonymous listening and emotional support service 24 hours, 365 days a year: Call 116 123